3 Years!!!
Three years ago today I had the revelation of what I wanted to do in my life: Sail Around The World! And this is some of what I've learned in that time:
1. If you're bold enough to state your dream to others, almost everyone will be a naysayer. This doesn't mean that the naysaying is coming from a bad place. Sometimes it's in regards to people being fearful for you. Sometimes it's because people don't want to see you get your hopes up & then get disappointed. Sometimes it's due to the fact that you want your partner to join you & it's just not their dream. This is all understandable but if your dream is something you really deeply desire & you're willing to do just about whatever it takes to make it come true, then you're going to have to develop a thick skin. Get some internal armor & let yourself know that this can all just roll off of you. These thoughts are coming from people's opinions or their truths & not yours. They are validated in their beliefs for themselves but not for you. Sometimes people are just mean & don't want you to reach their dreams because they've been afraid to go for theirs. These are the people that you don't even need to share your dreams with. They will never understand. Pets, pets will always understand though. Right Zephyr?
2. You need to be flexible. If there's one thing I've learned from the last 2 years of this pandemic, it's that not only can things change in your own life but the whole damn world can change! Plan a trip. Cancel a trip. Reschedule a trip. Reschedule a trip. Reschedule a trip. And repeat.
Belize, October 2021
That wasn't really about my goals or dream but I sure learned about flexibility & all that you can do when plans fall through is take a moment & then react in the best way possible. What if I can't circumnavigate the globe due to circumstances out of my control? Well, maybe I can sail in different places around the world. Maybe we sail around one area for a long time & then buy another boat in a different place & sail there. Maybe we make billions of dollars & rent a private jet, (so we can also fly Zephyr), & then just rent luxury catamarans all over the place! -See I AM flexible & open to all sorts of possibilities. The thing is, Matt needs to explore this life little by little. If something we experience ends up not being ideal for him, then I will have to rethink how we can manifest something fun for both of us. I mean, boat life is really all about being flexible. Weather goes bad? Then we'll have to stick around a port for longer than intended. Things break on the boat? Then we'll have to stick around a port for longer than intended. We fall in love with a new place? Then we'll have to stick around a port longer than intended.
3. Take breaks but don't give up. Matt taught me that if someone calls or emails me & I don't know how I want to answer them, is that -I don't have to get back to them right away. I can think about it. -Overnight if need be. All of you might be, Well DUH! But this was such a revelation to me! If I don't have an answer to an issue right away, it can still come to me. It just might take a little while to get to my brain if I allow it to. Is my mind tired? Do I need to look something up? Am I hangry? If I hit a wall in terms of a goal or project I probably need to move away from it temporarily. Usually I'll find my answer & then I can move on to the next thing.
Lots of breaks for this project.
4. Ask for help. This actually might be something done on that break from your project or goal. To be totally stereotypical, MEN, listen up! Asking for help is not a weakness. It's actually someone smart enough to know that they don't know the answer to something but someone else might. Actually everyone, look in the mirror right now & repeat this: "I was not born knowing everything. The schools I went to didn't teach me everything. Sometimes my attention span has failed me in learning everything. If I ask for help maybe I can learn something from someone else. -Who probably learned that thing from someone else.". No one gets to their great successes without help. Mr. Bezos didn't create Amazon by himself. He had an idea & investors, web designers & all of us that need things quick & cheap helped him build his empire. Madonna had record producers, personal assistants, radio stations & fans to bring her to where she is. All of the US presidents needed money from corporations, campaign managers & spin doctors to help them get their seats in office. In fact, it might be, the more help you get from others the closer you can be to conquering the world!! Mwwhahahahhahahahhah!
5. If you keep going, even if you have to endure something you detest sometimes, then you're probably working towards your true dream. I hate being cold! No, I don't think you understand, I detest, abhor, spit on being cold! If there is a devil, he invented being cold. What's the point of it? -I know, to sell ice-makers & ACs. What's my point? Well, I knew that this was truly my dream - to sail around to different places, because I will tolerate utter & painful coldness to do it. Of course to the average person, sailing in 40 degrees or 50 degrees is not living life in the danger zone. But it is to me! I have poor circulation. I mean really bad circulation. This is due to other health issues I won't go into. However, 75 degrees is my comfort baseline. High 80s & low 90s are my ideal temps. This is in Fahrenheit of course. -I am still human. We live in Santa Cruz & it does not get to my ideal temps; especially out on the water. I'm usually weighed down by 5 layers of clothing & still a bit cold. I love sailing though. For some reason, I can mentally get through the discomfort with still a smile on my face. That's pretty impressive for me. There are a lot of things I love doing. A lot. I'm a quitter though. I'm perfectly happy designing & sewing a dress but if I have to seam rip a mistake or go to the store because I ran out of a notion that I need..... the whole operation goes into hibernation. -Sometimes coming out years later. Sometimes just to die. So I laugh to myself when I think of waking up early to go out in cold & damp conditions to sail. -This must be what I need to do with my life!
6. Be willing to step out of your comfort zone. I'm talking more in the way of mental or emotional than physical. Although, physical can be a part of it too. Writing this blog & sticking to it now for the last few months & sharing it has definitely been a little uncomfortable for me. Am I going to bore people? Are they going to laugh at me? Am I going to have to learn new technical & photographic things? Am I going to even be happy with a blog? Well, I didn't know the answer to these questions & still am learning the answers to these questions but I just went ahead & did this anyway. I decided to just be uncomfortable & then forget about it. I do cringe a little when I read my first post. But we all have to start somewhere.
Elaine way out of her comfort zone! Go Elaine!
And in terms of actual sailing, my ego definitely gets a little injured when I don't know something that I think I should know or I'm scared of doing something wrong. -I can't seem to get past the point of overcoming my fear of hitting an expensive boat in the harbor so I'm a little slow at trying new things there but other than that, I'm trying to work on certain tasks. -Like pulling up to the fuel dock & hitting it harder than I wanted to. MerSea has a fairly hard hull though. And what's the worse that could happen? We have to buy another boat that's bigger & newer? See, nothing to fear!
7. Trust your intuition. I'm learning to get better at this. There are so many voices in my head that all say different things. It's hard to know which one to listen to. Logic is a good place to start. Logic wasn't what led us to find MerSea though. That was definitely intuition along with curiosity. Knowing what makes you happy is another good way to decide on something. Knowing the difference between "what if" fear & "gut" fear is super helpful. This is something you need to work on. It doesn't come naturally to most of us. I won't even try to describe how to train yourself to be able to discern the difference. There are plenty of experts out there that have different techniques on this. Advice that I can give: if you find yourself trying to force things to happen, then you are getting in your own way. Go back to step 3 above.
Matt in touch with his divine intuition.
8. Sometimes things are way easier than you thought they were going to be. For the most part, sailing is way easier than I thought it was going to be. I'm definitely not saying it's easy but I thought it would end up just being way to hard to continue on & that I would have given up by now. There's so much to learn. It's actually sticking to my brain though! The tabernacle system was easier to learn than I thought it would be. I wouldn't call it simple but it's something we can handle. Finding & buying the boat were way easier than I thought they would be. I know this is definitely not the norm for most boat buyers out there. We definitely lucked out. Many times things are just too good to be true. However, there are times when things are good & they are true! Probably what I'm finding easier than I thought I would is getting through hard lessons much faster than I would have expected. All the sailing related stuff I have needed to learn so far haven't been the struggles I feared they would be. Matt might beg to differ. He's the one who's had to fix pretty much all of the problems on the boat. I should just retitle this paragraph to - Set Your Expectations Low.
Easier than Zephyr could have imagined!
9. Your path will not match anyone else's. I keep watching these sailing vlogs & thinking, "things are not happening like that for us". And then fretting about it because we are not already on some far off island. I'm not some young hot chick that can vlog & sing & do everything super well. We don't have all the equipment we need. We don't have all the money we need. I don't know how to use the GoPro yet. Blah, blah, blah. Yet, I have to remember, none of the people I'm watching are: a couple our age, that live in Santa Cruz, that have a 30' Catalina, with a dog, who have just recently started working on this project. Most of the people we watch are different from each other. So there isn't one size fits all to life. Our formulas are all different. I just need to chill out & do what we can do in our circumstances & the rest will follow.
10. Keep working on yourself. None of us are perfect. -Oops! I forgot to say, "Spoiler Alert!". Yes, this might be news to you. Hey, you might be pretty close to it. But there's always room for improvement. I think I've given up on being perfect. I've pretty much tried all of my life for perfection & in turn I've given up on so many things because I've thought that I would never get things as right as other people have gotten them. However, only recently did I discover this, this idea is insane!!! Now I'm just working on how I can be better in terms of accepting myself, loving myself, & for lack of better terminology blah, blah, blah. -I don't want to sound like Stuart Smalley -look it up on SNL kids! I am serious though about caring more towards my mental, emotional & physical self. This also includes being kind & compassionate towards others. -Sometimes this just means keeping your mouth shut. Yes! I know that can be hard!
Thanks so much for reading again! So excited what the years to come will bring! If you like this blog, click on the like & follow buttons below. See you next week!
